I’m home from work today because the right side of my face is swollen to roughly twice its normal size. My doctor gave me some antibiotics, hypothesizing that I was bitten in my sleep by some sort of nefarious insect. I have a slightly wilder theory. I believe a gypsy put a curse on me. I was haggling over the price of a donkey this weekend with a travelling band of Eastern Europeans and secured what I thought was an excellent deal for both parties. The state of my face implies that the gypsy thought she got a raw deal. I am currently applying a poultice of ground chicken livers and unicorn tears to my grill, hoping for the best. (This is a tough ethical decision for me, in that I am a vegetarian, but I’ve decided to put my personal mores to the side in the interest of having a normally sized face again.) If you don’t hear from me next week, it is because I have travelled to Uzbekistan to seek a powerful mage. Good times!
My gypsy-cursed face is, however, your benefit. I got a super sweet track from Kansas City duo I Love You in the electronic mail this morning. The boys bring the raucous art-punk, with swirling atonality and generalized noisification. Further, non-sequiturs in the title always catch my eye. The press release for I Love You describes the band’s sound as DIY punk crossed with dub bass. That’s a weird combo, but it works completely. You’ll be tapping your toes while this one plays. While the poultice seeps into my hell-ravaged dome, it’s a nice distraction. I Love You’s second record, Bell Ord Forrest comes out on Joyful Noise on October 27. It’s perfect music if you’re banishing any evil spirits from your person and/or home.
I told you to pay that gypsy full price, this isn’t the Italian market ya know and unicorn tears do not work, that’s just a myth! cyclops tear is what you need.